Anuj Attempts a Eulogy

  At my grandfather's funeral last weekend, my mother had asked me if I could say a few words.  I agreed but I know that I'm an emotional guy so I was a bit worried about being able to get through a "few words" while maintaining any coherent speech patterns amidst the sobbing and sucking in of air.  Difficult, but doable.

  About two minutes before the ceremony, my brother pulls me aside and tells me that our mom has asked him to be the MC and that he has decided that I'll be giving the main eulogy. I gave him a murderous look (I know, odd given the circumstances) and set to work expanding my "few words."  Here's what I came up with.

  "My grandfather was an honourable man.  I know this from the stories other people told me about him and from what I remember of him.  Some have said that perhaps he was too honourable.  That at some points in his life, he was honourable to the point that other, less honourable people took advantage of him.  Be that as it may; he had a vision of who he was and how he would live his life.  He wouldn't let the dishonour of others control how he lived his life.  I believe he was in control of his life until the very end when all he'd lost control of was his death.

  I never saw him frown.  Sure, I've heard stories about him being angry or being stern, but I never saw it.  I only remember his smiles and laughs.  The closest he came to an even-set face or sadness what when he talked about the injustice of being allowed to see the death of a daughter-in-law and a grandson.

  Last of all my grandfather was really very cool, mischievous and had a sharp mind.  He wasn't above using his grandchildren to make life difficult for his own kids.  I remember coming home from University with my hair starting to grow long and sporting a new earring.  My parents were not judgemental but both he and I knew that they assumed it was a phase that I would grow out of (and maybe I would have).  When I saw him, he sat me down.  He told me that when he was my age, he had his ears pierced (both of them!) and wore these long earrings.  His sabotage was successful.  I still have my earring."