Quality...

Marketing is an amazing (and funny) thing.  Consider the plight of The Midland Certified Reagent Company, manufacturers of quality oligonucleotides. I don't care how nerdy your clientele is, I would imagine that trying to produce an ad for these guys must be quite a challenge.  Here's the small text ad they came up with in the 03 Feburary 2006 issue of Science Magazine.

  "Quality ...

  is like buying oats.  If you want nice, clean, fresh oats, you have to pay a fair price for them.  Oats that have already been through the horse come a bit cheaper."

  I don't care what you think, it takes a creative mind to come up with this tagline and their management had to have some balls for approving it.  Think of it, in Science Magazine, they just managed to characterize their (cheaper) competitors products as sh*t ... and they got away with it. *genius*

Where Am I?

Based on popular demand, here are a few photos of where I've spent the last few months.

HOME:

  I've been living in a temporary housing situation (month-to-month rent for a furnished apartment) that has worked out quite well.  It's a small 1+ bedroom house in the backlot of a street where the owners manage almost all the properties on that block.  Great people.  These first two photos are looking from the driveway at the house.  On the left you can see my car (which is now in the shop getting its windows fixed *grumble*).

  Here's another photo of the view looking back out at the street.  You can see how far back this house is.

WORK:

  Here are some images of my workplace.  Before you go and get me into trouble, let me make sure you understand that these are pictures of my building and pictures of the view from my office.  Anything you see inside my office is entirely incidental and not at all indicative of my true work environment or any secret Schlumberer information.  Can anyone tell that I've had a run-in with management over secrecy within the last year? :)

  Here are some images of the outside of the building.  You can see that one of them was taken from my car with the door open (the windows don't work, remember?  That's why it's in the shop!).

Following are a few pictures from the inside of my office.  For those of you in Beijing, it's a fairly clear day but not as clear as it could be.  I love having the long, uninterrupted views of my surroundings (not to mention being able to look down on the peasantry).

  In case you're wondering, I am writing this from the office because I have to take the bus (and/or walk) home tonight and I'm procrastinating.  Why?  My car is the shop!!  If you're prone to sympathy, I currently live about 10 miles from home but the bus system in Houston leaves a lot to be desired (namely, more buses).

Where's My TPS Report?

You know that your life has taken a slightly wrong turn when you watch Office Space and you realize that your current identity most closely correlates not with the plucky engineer but rather with the TPS Report Boss who carries around a coffee mug all the time.

How to Gamble with Donations for the Earthquake

You've all heard about the earthquake in China. Nothing I can add to all the press so I'll focus on something a bit more important; namely, how did it affect me?

Let's establish some ground rules. This story is about some company in Beijing about which I happen to have a lot of inside knowledge. The story was told to me and I'll write the following in the first person because ... it's easier. Which company is it? I have no idea (and you don't have any idea either).

A few weeks after the earthquake, this company put together a financial response with the following rules:

1. The company will match all employee donations one-for-one.
2. The company will gaurantee a minimum donation of 250,000 RMB.
3. All funds are first to be used to help company employees and their families. Remaining funds will then be donated for general earthquake relief.

This elicited the following response from me:

1. My initial grief and compassion over the quake has now been replaced by a mathematical nightmare. If I donate some money, then the company will match it. But if the fund doesn't reach the 250K minimum, then my donation is wasted since the company was gauranteeing that amount. It would have been better to donate somewhere else. By donating, I'm gambling that my co-workers will cross the minimum.
2. What? 250,000 RMB? That's it? For a company with a market valuation in the tens of billions of US Dollars, this seems quite niggardly (there, I used the word, so sue me). As a comparison, after the 2005 India/Pakistan Quake, a similar-sized company donated 4,150,000 RMB outright, no conditions.
3. What? Cover your own employees first? With the money donated by other employees? I think that the company is on the hook for providing relief for its own employees (and immediate families) without going hat-in-hand to other employees.

After much hemming and hawing, I decided to donate some money. The response? I got an e-mail the next day telling me that the donations are only open to Chinese employees and I'm not eligible to participate (translation: We don't need your stinkin' money).

In the end, the employees blew past the 250K minimum. Like the rest of China, everyone came together in support for the victims. Adding up the company match and subtracting the amont given to the employees, the company ended up donating around 500,000 RMB. {My friend is not sure how he feels about the whole process or the result}.

Work Talk - Rat Traps

We don't have mouse traps at work. We have Rat Traps! They're huge (the traps, I haven't seen the rats yet).